Turkey Lurkey Tips For The Tired

And sometimes I suspect we begin to feel very ungrateful and very unthankful so I thought let’s just lay it out there with some home remedies from SoffiaB that may help you get through another Thanksgiving.

- Invite your relative/friend for the day who is the best cook amongst the bunch and tell them no turkey, no entrance

- Channel your inner army drill sergeant and go for a brisk, three hour walk first thing in the morning to tire out dogs, ankle-biters and crotchety significant others

- Ensure your garden shed is cleared out or at least has enough space for a chair in it, you never know when you might need it …. Here’s looking at you Uncle Edward!

- If friends and relatives do turn up with dishes that are obviously quite vile and inedible, thank them profusely and tell them you’ve decided to donate at least half of the meal to the homeless this year and you know they’ll love the pumpkin and marshmallow casserole / green bean & soup dish / insert other nasty stuff here

- Prepare a completely different meal for example, a tofu roast with reconstituted vegetables, a raw fish bar sushi style, 14 different kinds of cereal with dairy milk, soy milk, almond milk, coconut milk …… you get the idea

- Open the bar at 8.00am

- Invite all your friends and relatives and tell them this year is a year of giving back and being thankful for wonderful friends.  When they arrive hand them each a mop, broom, duster and cleaning fluid and say thank you for cleaning our house, we are so thankful to have you in our lives

- If it’s the in-fighting, back-stabbing, veiled insult thing you dislike, try a new mealtime game.  It’s called Boring!  Invite your other half or closest ally to play too and every time someone begins the unpleasantness incorporate Boring! into your sentence as you address them.  Your partner in crime keeps count of the number of borings and at half time ie as you finish the main course and descend into dessert indulgence you swap roles – whoever has the most borings, wins!  If someone questions your use of boring, deny all knowledge and advise them to get their hearing checked.

- If you happen to be across the pond just be grateful for that.

- And lastly if you insist of doing the whole turkey-lurkey extravaganza please just enjoy it, it’s only one day after all …..

Until the next celebration, happy thanksgiving to all you stateside turkey-lurkey lovers!

Look Gorgeous, Feel Fabulous - Sophie

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