I was talking to an older gentleman today who found himself at age 50 on a plane to the USA with $100 in his pocket, no job, his wife was in another country and they were divorcing. His teenage children were with his wife and he had no job.
Quite the predicament when one rather assumes by that age that we’ve sorted our lives out generally. We vaguely assume marriage or partnership is in motion or we’ve separated and come out the other side, we may have ankle-biters or not, our careers or paths in life are pretty well defined and we know who we are and what our next trajectory is.
It was fascinating listening to him talk about his life up until that point because it became clear that this wasn’t a particularly unusual occurrence for him. As in okaaay all change now, what next? He’d lived in New Zealand, Australia, the UK and United States for long periods of time doing both professional and trade jobs. Some moves were planned, others not so much. He currently divides his time between here, the US and across the pond in England.
Last Christmas time I was talking a chap that was actually in motion if you like. He was living between Portugal and Sweden I think it was, or was it Norway? I can’t recall, but he too was around middle fifties. And he didn’t really know or at least didn’t share it with me, what if anything, was going to happen next for him.
There was a lady I was talking to recently who’d also made a huge geographical move down under and within a short space of time decided to ditch her husband and is now traveling happily around the world on her own terms.
My reaction to these scenarios though was completely
To the older gentleman today I was interested to learn how, what, when and why. The lady I was impressed she’d found the courage to break up her long standing marriage to be true to herself. The middle aged chappie however, I remember thinking to myself “really, you haven’t got it sorted yet??”
Which upon reflection today it rather shame making. Neither man seemingly had any problem with their statuses in life then or now. They both seemed happy and were enjoying their life and families, I might add, despite their apparent drifting in the currents. They are both kind, nice individuals who don’t appear to feel the world owes them anything, they are content or perhaps accepting with limited funding – really who am I to judge??
Two things came across from all three. Firstly the only thing stopping a person from changing their life was themselves. I thought hmmmn I suppose that’s the case but tell that to the Mother with ankle-biters in school, or the person whose job provides for elderly care of parents or …. etc etc. But it is true however large or small the change is, it’s your responsibility.
Secondly, don’t wait! There is never the right time or the best time and this was most strongly voiced by the woman who wished she’d made her move earlier in life. Make the change because nothing has to be forever. This last bit is something that I learned from my Mother I think, when buying my first home solo as I was reeling from the commitment. She pointed out “well darling you can always sell it” and suddenly the burden was lifted. Of course I could.
Have you ever made a significant change and wished you’d done it sooner?
My advice – buy the robe now you won’t regret it, after all, why wait J
Look Gorgeous, Feel Fabulous – Sophie